If I Could Take Pain and Anxiety Away from my Kids, I Would


The alarm goes off at 5am, and I really did not need the alarm because I did not sleep much anyway… over the summer my daughter had something on her face that looked like a bug bite.  We put creams on it, which treated it like a bite.  But, fast forward 4 months and it was still there and looked to be growing.   We took her to the dermatologist (I have had loads of skin issues, so this was my first stop for her).  The dermatologist thought it looked like a benign cyst, which was a relief. But, then we were told it needed to be removed.  Seeing anxiety and fear in my daughters eyes she knew a surgeon needed to handle the operation and it would be done in the hosptial.  We were referred to a wonderful pediatric plastic surgeon (thanks to friends) and after a great meeting with the doctor we scheduled the surgery.  I could see my daughter was nervous.  I told her it would be ok and I would be with her!! Fast forward a month later and we are about to go to the hospital.  I chose not talk about the surgery with my daughter because I did not want to worry any more than she already was.  Of course that morning she was very scared.  I wanted to make it all better and go through the surgery for her, but I couldn’t. My husband ended up needing to be away that week, so my amazing Mom flew out to help me. We did this because we did not want to push back the surgery, it needed to be done!  

While getting ready and waiting for the doctors, I did everything I could to distract and keep my daughter busy!  We read books, we watched movies, we listened to music, you name it!  The doctors and nurses were so amazing to us.  It was time to go to the operating room and I was able to walk down there with my daughter.  I wanted to be strong for her, I didn’t want her to know I was scared too. I knew the surgery would be fine, that I was not worried about… It was her fear of the unknown, that is what worried and scared me the most!  

After the surgery I was able to be by her side when she was waking up.  I could see she was in pain and scared and somewhat confused and I wanted to take it all away from her, but I couldn’t!  I did everything I could to put her at ease, but I’m not sure it was enough.  We are so empatheitc when it comes to our children we would do anything to take their pain away and carry that pain for them.  Good news is my daughter will not remember much of this dramatic experionce, but I know I will!   I do wish my kids will not step foot in a hospital or surgery room again, but with three kids it is highly unlikely, wishful thinking on my part.