As parents, it is easy to feel like you are getting nothing done. Even the basics, like cooking, showering, and eating can feel impossible in the beginning. It’s easy to fall into a rut of feeling overwhelmed and stuck.
We are not getting the same things accomplished as before. The kitchen might be overflowing with dishes, the floor scattered with toys, the bathroom revolting, and our to-do-list unaddressed.
But if we really did nothing, what exactly were we up to all day? The truth is, we likely get more accomplished than in our pre-parent lives. We just aren’t giving ourselves credit and applying value to the things we are accomplishing.
As parents, your day includes a million things you did to nurture and provide for your little one.
Climbing out of that rut
This past year I read Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg, and it impacted my perception of all I do on a daily basis and whether or not it matters. She recommends writing down your contributions daily – no matter how “small.” For instance, did you make the coffee or get the mail? Write it down. Did you change diapers? Write it down.
The idea is that when you are stuck in a rut and feel like you aren’t contributing anything, that focusing even on the small daily completed tasks helps you build up your confidence in your abilities. In turn, this helps you get out of that rut.
Take feeding your child. Multiple times a day, you either sit down and breastfeed your child, make them a bottle or prepare (or buy) them a meal. It takes time, planning and resources. Its impact is undeniable, right? But often we forget these small daily actions and how much they mean.
I’ve started a daily practice of writing down my contributions to highlight for myself all that I do in a day. We often don’t count the repetitive and mundane parts of our day, but they have incredible significance. And it’s important to recognize that.
It feels good to get the house cleaned, to write my friends, to research future career opportunities – and those things are important. As time goes on, you’ll get better at managing your time. But first, whatever season we are in, we need to give ourselves credit. Today you kept a small person alive and loved on them. And that’s not nothing, but something important.
