Resolutions! A word that is around this time of the year. Gyms are overflowing with people and everyone is asking you what your resolutions are for the new year. One thing that we are all certain is that resolutions are usually broken, unmet and easily forgotten. It’s normal, life happens and it’s easy to lose focus in order to survive. Diets, attitudes and big expectations create tension for us and could lead us to a feeling of failure.
Last year, we published some great articles on new years resolutions. Shifting our perspective, what to do instead, and advice on how to stay on track. All of the articles helped me define what I was going to work on for the year. I decided to move from making resolutions to establishing a purpose, or an aim to work towards. This shift took away the pressure of getting definite results and allowed me to focus on a plan.
No resolutions, so where to begin?
I decided to start with ME.
It was easy to start. I simply continued my workout routine without pressure, and that created space to relax and recover. To embrace my mom body and love myself as I was. I had already been on that path, without knowing, but 2019 really made a difference.
I started by signing up for a race, my first one after many years. This kept me focused on reaching a specific goal, and it made exercise fun and kept me accountable. But, I didn’t do this alone. A group of friends also signed up, and we created an accountability circle to keep us all motivated. Before I had kids, I use to work out with friends. Coordinating runs and classes and made things easier by adding a social aspect to exercise. As life happens and work schedules get crazy and we move to different parts of town, it is harder to do this. Fortunately, all we needed for motivation was to track and share our workouts. Virtually cheer each other on. There were times when some of us could go for a run, and that was a great luxury.
After our race in May, we signed up for a longer one, and now we are moving on to a 10 miler. Its crazy, unexpected, and I had no idea I wanted to go this far. But I am especially proud of all of us and how much we set to accomplish without really thinking about it. Instagram was also a great way to connect with other mom runners in my tribe, to keep us in check and motivated.
Throughout the year, I also did other things, like learning how to ski, fulfilling my childhood dream of going to a BSB concert and going out on girls’ nights more often. Taking care of myself really helped me get through the year. It was easier to remain calm during the tantrums, survive the viruses and be more present with my kids.
Add my contribution to the environment.
My second purpose was to reduce our waste by being mindful of our environment and limit our use of plastic. I learned a lot along the way, and I became consistent with things like school lunchboxes, shopping, and food waste. A key part was to talk to my kids and husband about the changes and why we needed to make them. We are far from perfect and more often than I would like to admit, end up with unnecessary plastic. But we are going through the process as a family and that is ultimately what will make a difference.
We changed our shopping habits, thinking twice before picking a product at a store. Yes, it’s a little restrictive, but I’ve found good alternatives for some things and I’ve learned that it’s ok just to cut back when it’s not sustainably possible. I definitely miss the shortcuts, but I’m happy to know my recycling bin is not overflowing.
Read more, for all of us.
My oldest son started reading last year. He picked it up pretty quickly and started moving through books with lots of joy. I knew the best way to motivate him was by example, so it was my purpose to get back into reading. With the limited time I had had since I became a mom, I ended up reading lots of articles and blog posts about parenting and education. I love those, but too much on the same topic can be overwhelming. So, I looked around for book recommendations and headed to the library (and the great selection at Costco). It took a long time. Many failed tries. I went everywhere with a book and didn’t find time to pick it up.
In March I finished the first book and I was so happy that I kept going. Our contributors were a great source of inspiration and suggestions. I ended up reading 7 books. This might sound like very little to some people, but between the house, blogging, my small part-time job, volunteering at the school, cooking and working out, I am extremely proud of myself. The best part is sitting next to my kid spending time reading together and encouraging each other by celebrating our achievements. My kids have also learned to support me along the way and actually give me some quiet time while I am working on finishing a book!
Where I came short?
One of the things I wanted to achieve was to bake more. To reduce how many cookies and bread we bring home from the stores. Yes, you read it right. We eat a lot of bakery items, my husband is seriously a cookie monster. I was not going to fight our ways, but I was going to find healthier homemade alternatives. We made bread a handful of times and tried different cookie recipes. Some much better than others, but ultimately not enough to reduce how much we bought. So, instead of getting frustrated, I took a step back and now bake when it’s possible and without pressure.
Why focus on a purpose?
Looking into the new year, I would like for us to celebrate each other. No shaming on breaking resolutions (or lack thereof). No feeling overwhelmed by resolutions because surviving parenthood is hard enough. Just celebrate each other, encourage your tribe and work on feeling free from all the pressures we put on ourselves.
For me, it was a great eye-opening experience to see how much I achieved without locking myself into a specific goal, but rather to have a purpose to shift as we go along. I am ready for this new year and hope to run more than the 220 miles I recorded in 2019. And if I am ever short of inspiration, I know that this community and my tribe are there to help me along the way.
