Divorce feels like a hot topic right now. Whether it’s talk of increased divorce rates due to Covid, the rise in ”gray divorce” (divorces in couples who are over 50 years old), high profile celebrity breakups, or even divorce within your own family, it can feel inescapable. If you find yourself facing a divorce, or even the possibility of one, it’s worth researching a CDC Certified Divorce Coach®.
I recently spoke with local Coach Amy Miller, who shared the reasons why professional coaching can make a huge difference for a woman who is either thinking about or currently going through a divorce, both financially and emotionally.
The Top 3 Benefits of Working with a CDC Certified Divorce Coach®
#1 Avoid Costly Financial Mistakes
It’s not surprising that Amy’s background is in commercial and high-end residential interior design, because there are a lot of parallels between interior design and purposefully designing your future.
An interior designer costs more up front, but often pays off in the long run since everything is done right the first time. When you go it alone (at least in my case!), you could end up spending more because of a misjudgment or mismeasurement.
Divorce is similar. It’s always going to be costly, but a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® can help you get it right from the start so you’re not paying more down the road.
A CDC like Amy will help you find the right professionals, like lawyers, accountants, or even therapists. She’ll help you determine the professionals you need, and the best people to take on your specific case.
You’ll work together to make lists of what you’re looking for when interviewing, and to lay out the critical questions that will be essential to your decision making process. You’ll be able to make choices based on concrete factors rather than emotion, which will save you valuable time and money.
#2 Preserve Your Relationships with Your Children
We’ve all had experiences we wish we could go back and change, especially when emotions are raw. Unfortunately, these are moments that are often most memorable, both for us and our children.
A CDC Certified Divorce Coach® can help you avoid these emotionally costly mistakes to help prevent you from making a choice you would regret down the road.
For example, one question Amy always asks is, “Do you hate your ex more than you love your children?” If the answer is no, and of course it is, you need to make choices that will preserve and even strengthen your relationships with your children. Your behavior is important, no matter how much you dislike your ex. A wrong move really can affect your children, even for the rest of their lives.
Coaching is future-focused, and a good coach will help you prepare for the roller coaster that’s sure to come. You’ll be ready with responses even in the most emotionally charged situations.
How? A CDC will help you determine your boundaries and trigger points, while also refining your coping mechanisms. You’ll create a plan of action so you can react in ways that make you feel proud.
Not only will you have your pride intact, but you’ll also be modeling positive behavior for your children, other family members, and your community.
#3 Recovering & Rebuilding Your Future
If there’s one word that can be used to describe moms, it’s busy. It’s just part of the job.
We throw everything into our families, both physically and mentally. And often, we forget a bit about ourselves as “mom” becomes a primary identity.
When your identity is your family and your family is broken by divorce, many women find themselves feeling paralyzed. They start to question who they are and what they’ll do.
It may feel impossible in the moment, but you can absolutely rebuild yourself. A good CDC Certified Divorce Coach® will help you find your way.
Coaching is focused on the future, where you’re going. And while a coach helps you create that path forward, it is based on you and what you want. A coach does not tell you what to do – it comes from within yourself.
Coaching involves a lot of asking questions. Many women already know the answers to questions about the way ahead, but may feel too overwhelmed to think through everything carefully.
Amy always asks open ended questions that help you realize and verbalize the answers. From there, you can make a concrete plan to rebuild.
You’ll find your strengths and what makes you happy. You’ll maintain relationships you care about and build new ones. You’ll come out of divorce even stronger than before.
When is it Time to Meet with a CDC Certified Divorce Coach®?
In an ideal world, you’d get in touch with a CDC like Amy before a divorce is in motion. For these cases, she can talk you through your options and things may go down a bit differently than if you went in blind. In fact, some women who’ve worked with Amy pre-divorce have realized that they actually want to stay in their relationships!
Again, like in interior design, it’s better to go in with a professional plan rather than winging it and scrambling to recover from mistakes down the road.
Of course, divorce isn’t always your own decision. Many women find themselves blindsided by it. A coach is still the perfect first call – even before contacting an attorney.
Your coach will help you work through the shock and emotions, hire the best professionals for your particular case, and help you design the future you want.
Get in Touch with Amy Miller
If you or a woman you know is considering or in the middle of a divorce, you’ll want to keep Amy’s contact information handy. She’s been through divorce herself and has come out stronger for it, and her firsthand knowledge makes her extremely easy to talk to, compassionate, and understanding.
She offers free 30 minute consultations to help get the ball rolling on your future. You can reach her by phone (757-407-0052) or email.
It may feel hard. It may even feel impossible. But that first call with a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® could be just what you need to rediscover yourself, gain confidence, and feel empowered in your new future.