Going Through The Goo Phase Of Change Sucks


Here’s the thing I’m starting to really hate about social media: the instant change videos. 

One minute a curbside trash dresser… *blink*: A stunning home decor worth thousands. 

One minute a house so untidy it resembles Marie Kondo’s version of hell… *blink*: A perfectly clean and organized home.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m starting to despise these videos as much as I am simultaneously addicted to them. The change effect is alluring and seeing the possibilities is fun.

But I’m starting to hate the side effects of watching unrealistic instantaneous changes over and over. 

There are no videos of the disgusting goo phase that a caterpillar must go through to become a butterfly. 

There are no videos of someone making a horrendous mistake while redoing that dresser or the hours of labor that go into making that home look picture perfect. 

I’m in a goo phase of life right now and it sucks. I know on so many levels that it is a phase, it will pass, there’s light at the end of the tunnel, blah blah blah.

But right now that light at the end of the tunnel is another train running me over. I’ve lost count of how many trains have come recently. 

It’s the ugly part of change that I don’t see reflected in social media. The wishing-my-mask-covered-my-whole-face-because-my-eyes-are-so-puffy-from-crying phase. 

Hearing those positive affirmations of “You’ll get through it”, “Everyone goes through tough times” or “You’re stronger than you think” actually make this stage worse. 

I know I’ll make it through this because what is the alternative? 

Yes, everyone goes through tough times, which is why I’m writing this post. 

I know I am stronger than I think, but I don’t want to be. 

And this is not a post about lacking gratitude or awareness of privilege. There are enormous amounts of things in my life that are positive at the same time. There are tons of things that I am grateful for and privileged to have every minute of the day.

AND, the goo phase can still suck. Everyone has a different level of hard and is in different stages of caterpillar, goo, or butterfly phases of life.

It would just be more reassuring to see the ugliness associated with change more often, to remind me that it’s ok to feel this stage however it feels knowing that it will not *blink* and be done.

Maybe when we’re done with whatever stage of life change we’re all in right now we can make a new form of social media that shows more of the goo stage. To acknowledge the hard parts that seem endless. 

And if you’re in a goo phase of a transformation right now, I see you almost-butterflies.

hard stage in life


  1. Thank you for this article. I’m in the “goo phase” as we expect our first in July and I’ve been having such a hard time explaining to friends and family how I’m feeling. This captures it perfectly!

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