I don’t like Mother’s Day – and it’s ok. Over the past couple of years, around this time, there starts to be social media posts and blog entries about remembering that Mother’s Day might be all that great for everyone. That there are many people out there who may not view Mother’s Day as a super fun, celebratory day, but feel that it’s painful. People who face child loss, infertility, strained relationships with their mothers, loss of a parent, and many other reasons might hate this day. So I say this again – I don’t like Mother’s Day. And it’s ok to be like me and not like this day.
The Pressure of Celebrating Mother’s Day
I’m a mom of two and this year is only my third holiday. But each year as a mom, Mother’s Day has made me feel weird. And if I’m being honest, it has always made me feel weird. It was awkward growing up, because we’d spend it with my grandparents who always made it a huge deal. It always became more about being a grandmother. I think about this now, and I now believe that it made my mom feel left out. So as we got older and my grandparents died, I felt this pressure to make it better for her. Which, honestly, wasn’t great, because we have our own issues. Sending something on Mother’s Day makes me feel fake, but I do it.
Choosing Not to Celebrate Within our Home
And then I became a mom, and I still hate Mother’s Day. This doesn’t mean that I don’t love being a mom. Because I do. I love being a mom so much. My kids are my greatest joy. Not only do I have my issues with the holiday because of childhood, but I also don’t want a “special day” where my family feels forced to go above and beyond to celebrate me. I don’t like being the center of attention. I don’t want to accept gifts that I don’t need. I’d rather us not spend the money. I don’t really want to be awkwardly forced to go do something “I want to do alone,” because I like being with my family more. I don’t want the stereotypical “Mother’s Day” day that feels so inauthentic and sterile.
And it’s ok that I feel this way. It’s ok if you feel this way too.
I don’t like Mother’s Day. And that’s ok. It’s ok to not want to celebrate. It’s ok for me to ask my family to treat it as any normal day. It’s ok to ask for zero presents. It’s ok to not like it. If you need someone to tell you it’s ok to hate it, I am telling you that. I give you permission to stop pretending.
So this year, if you’re like me, give yourself a Mother’s Day present and tell yourself that it’s ok to not like it.
